"S" Words

Today, I taught nine expectant mothers how to swaddle a baby. A trade secret of motherhood, swaddling is certainly not a new practice. Along with many other mommies, I lived by Dr. Harvey Karp's 5 S’s (swaddle, side…or stomach, shush, swing, and suck) with my newborn son. So, what was so special about today? To use another “s” word – sisterhood.

Societies throughout the world have always relied on a sisterhood of women to pass down the wisdoms of pregnancy, childbirth, and childrearing. The phrase “it takes a village” is literal. However, when I look at motherhood in America, I see the edges of that concept fraying. True, the modern super-mom creates a surrogate village by following a mommy blog or two, reading threads on the best baby sites, catching Dr. Harvey Karp on The View, and buying a copy of the old standards like What to Expect When You’re Expecting. But is it really the same?

Regardless, the women in my class haven’t read any of the blogs and haven’t heard of Dr. Karp. One expectant mom in the group carried her first baby home from the hospital perfectly swaddled, but never knew how to replicate it. The nurse never bothered to show her. Today, she was the first one to jump up and give it a try. The first-time expectant moms were just as eager to learn the technique. I say “technique,” but it really isn’t that complicated. I think such simple things rarely are shared because they seem intuitive. In fact, I initially hesitated to ask if the women wanted a swaddling demonstration. What if they already knew and I offended them?

I thought back to my own prenatal classes and decided that no knowledge is frivolous when it comes to having a baby. The outcome? A palpable sense of empowerment. That is why sisterhood is so important. I believe in a woman's intuition, but she needs opportunities to observe and share in order to absorb these “simple” things. More importantly, she needs to build a network of trust that will be there when she encounters the “not-so-simple” things.